I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
