you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
