I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
