Sry I called you an 8
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Even my vagina gasped.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
