Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
