this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
