Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
