the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Two words: blizzard sex
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize