So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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