this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
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