It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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