Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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