Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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