Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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