OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
