is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
