did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
be right there i have to get my cape
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
