I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
