I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We had sex on a dog bed..
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
wow bdsm is so cute
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
