Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Barsexuality is the new black.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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