I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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