Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
