I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
