before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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