That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
