I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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