How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
