someone owes me an orgasm
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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