remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
