At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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