So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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