i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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