I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
