The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
