that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
