So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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