Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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