Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
