I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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