im holly from the hills drunk
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
