She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
