Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
