We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I touched a dick in church today
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
