Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
