Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
