Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
