brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
