If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
