Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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