ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I party with great urgency now.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
