i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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