I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
