In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i now understand why vodka
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
